Dear Senator Kirsten Gillibrand,
How rude! Who does Harry Reid think he is calling you a “hottie” in front of an entire audience of politicos at Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s home. Asked to clarify his comments, Reid’s spokesperson Jim Manley, told POLITICO, “What can I say, she made The Hill’s ‘Most Beautiful list.”
Whew! I thought for a second he was demeaning you by pointing out something physical and not your obvious intellectual attributes. Making the Hill’s “Most Beautiful List” is like making the “Best Dressed List” at my Uncle Dan’s pig roast. It was reported that your face turned red after the comment, something attributed to a blush from embarrassment. Of course, I know it was red from trying to hold your breath as you swallowed your dinner that had no doubt upchucked from your stomach when you realized that Harry Reid was thinking of you in “that way.”
Even after your many accomplishments, an undergraduate degree in Asian studies at Dartmouth where you graduated magna cum laude, a law degree from UCLA Law School, clerkships, board assignments, legal precedents and work as a two-term congresswoman, Reid can find so little to acknowledge you. He didn’t seem to falter when he drooled personal praise all over Schumer earlier in his speech. Perhaps he needs a better speechwriter than Archie Bunker. Or perhaps the men on the Hill need to rate issues instead of women. How about a list proposing the ugliest economic numbers by state; or the most beautiful stimulus projects by job stats.
Sincerely,
Me and My 1000 Girlfriends, That’s Who!
